Life as we know it.

Hey guys! So, I didn’t write yesterday… I had a nice relaxing day/night with my cousin Jeffrey. We went to see campaign, had dinner at Popeyes, came home watched movies and stayed up talking until 4 am. Anyways, today’s post will be short and sweet. It’s going to be about my dad since today was his birthday. He passed away while I was at a field trip in the 7th grade. The date was February 24, 2005… it was a rough day and it still is. Death isn’t an easy thing to grasp, especially if it;s someone you depend on for everything. I was 12 turning 13 when he passed away. He was 50 turning 51. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about him. I think about him all the time, I miss him so much. Sometimes, I wonder why he did lie to me about my life. I mean, I heard stories of possibly why he did, but I would love to be able to ask him. To get his side of the story instead of just assuming. I know he’s gone, so I know I will never get any of my questions answered and it sucks. That’s why honesty in a relationship is something I truly care about. I want my boyfriend to be 110% honest with me and be okay with it. Obviously Zack couldn’t cut it. The pressure was too much for him but I’m glad I found that out almost 2 years later rather than down the long road. I miss my dad, and yes I am upset about a lot of things. But I love him, I know he did everything with his best intentions (Zack often reminded me of that)… I just wish he was here to ask him more. I pray he had a great 58th birthday in Heaven. I don’t know if you guys have faced someone passing away, I’m sure you have, but I’m not sure you’ve also experienced someone in your immediate family passing away. It’s extremely difficult. Especially for a 12 year old who only had one parent and that was it. My world was crushed and completely changed. Anyways, death is hard. It’s clearly never easy. Especially if it is sudden and there were no signs of it happening. My dad’s death was sudden. We said our goodbyes in the morning when he dropped me off for my field trip and when I came back he wasn’t there. I never imagined this happening to me, no one does. He was gone. I just found his death certificate a couple of weeks ago actually. See, when my dad passed away they had advised me not to see him. I chose not to see his truck. My making those choices have greatly impacted my life though. I never fully knew what happened, I never fully will. But, I found his death certificate the other day and some online articles. I found out the name and age of the man who killed my father. He was exceeding a safe speed and charged with something else. He was driving a flatbed truck that had jack knifed and killed my father. My dad was supposedly on his way back to work after going home for lunch. His time of death was 1:12 pm… I was still watching the Medieval Times show when it happened. I was having a good time with friends. I didn’t know what happened, and knowing that I was having fun while he was suffering is awful. I read his death certificate and read the cause of his death. It was serious head trauma. I don’t know how long he suffered, or if he suffered at all, but I can only pray that it wasn’t bad. I pray that he didn’t suffer and I pray that he left this world with no pain at all. I miss him so much and I just pray for him all the time. It’s been hard not having him here. Knowing that he won’t be able to walk me down the aisle when I get married, he wasn’t here to see me graduate from high school, he won’t be here to see me graduate from college, he won’t be here to meet my grandkids, my family, my new friends, my next boyfriend. He won’t physically be here, but he will forever be in my heart and that is how he will live on. Remember, never leave someone angry and tell them you love them. Tomorrow is not promised and your life as you know it can change in the blink of an eye. Mine did.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

My daddy and I back in 1993 while we were visiting my mom’s family in Sweden.

My daddy, me, and my mom.

My tattoo: Death is not the end and life is forever.

My dad and I at my friend’s mom’s wedding… this is one of the last pictures we have together.

My dad and I after I won 1st place in a horse riding competition when I was like 6 or 7.

& my daddy trying to calm me down, haha. I miss that man. <3 we were so cute.

The interesting day of a cat’s life…

Hi guys! So, Zack picked out the title of this one today. We have been texting and well he helped me come up with this. More like I just asked him what I should write about and that is what he sent back. At first I was thinking “Eh, no. That’s silly…” but then I thought about it a little longer and it hit me! When I went to mass today the Deacon said the homily and it started out with him talking about taking care of the Priest’s cats while he was on his Mission Trip. Agnes and Lucy are their names. He said that everyday he went to take care of them he realized how much they depended on him. They would just wait for someone to come through that door and take care of them, everyday. They never knew what would happen that day, they didn’t know if someone would show up or if someone wouldn’t, they just had Faith that someone would. We should do this ourselves. Cats, dogs, babies, or anything dependent on someone… they have the most faith. They have faith that they will get fed and that they will get taken care of. They fully rely on us (well, the indoor pets), they fully rely on us to take care of them. Babies cannot take care of themselves, they too also fully rely on us. These creatures have Faith. They have confidence in us, that we will pull through for them. They trust us to take care of them. They display the true definition of having Faith. I don’t know about you guys, but I believe in God. I believe that He knows what is best for me and my future. I believe He has everything under control, and I believe I am following the path that He has made for me and wants me to follow. I have Faith in Him. I have confidence in God and what He is doing with my life… and yeah. I might think my life has been a little on the rough side, but I trust Him and the choices He made for my life. I have faith in Him. Well, it’s time for me to rest. It’s 1:49 in the morning, Zack and I are in deep conversation which may or may not be good, and I want to figure out what I’m doing Monday for my dad’s birthday. Can you believe he would have been 58 this year? I wish he was physically here with me to celebrate. Apparently he had loved Pineapple upside down cake so maybe I’ll make that after I go to mass. Goodnight everyone. Hug and kiss the people you love, and tell them you love them while they’re here. You never know when you may not see them again.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

...and yes. I did keep the heart by his name even though we've been broken up for a while.

Not Like The Movies

Heyy everyone! Good morning.  So, I just wrote a huge post, but I didn’t like it so I deleted it. I just wanted to talk about the name of my Blog today. First though, I just want to say I had a very fabulous day. I drove up to Raleigh to hang out with my cousin, who is pretty much my sister, and her daughter. It was a great day, and it ended even better because I got to talk to Zack a little. Not much, but a little, and after what I realized yesterday or well, thought about yesterday (My purpose: blog post), it made talking to Zack a lot easier. So overall today was great, fantastic, amazing, happy, and fabulous. All of the above… Okay. So the name of my Blog is “Not Like The Movies” if you listen to Katy Perry or saw her movie, then you probably have heard this song. The last day Zack and I had talked, he told me he was tired of fighting. I was too but that’s what he said. He just didn’t want to fight anymore and I can’t blame him. I was tired of it, but I just did it. At first it was because of little lies he told, I just wanted him to know that I would much prefer the truth all up front rather than little lies and me finding out the truth eventually. I think everyone deserves that, and he knew how I felt about lying. My dad lied to me about the most important things in my life, so anytime Zack lied about something little it freaked me out. More so because they say when you start out lying it may be little things, but then that can snow ball and the thought of that freaked me out. However; I kept working with him. I never gave up and I knew we could work through it. Anyways, there is one line in that song that made me think of what he had said and it goes as follows: If it’s not like the movies, that’s how it should be. Now… I’m not talking about the whole song, just that one line. A lot of movies use to portray relationships and such as “perfect” happy tails with “perfect” happy endings and such. Well, I’m sorry but I don’t believe in “perfect” relationships. I don’t believe in relationships that are all just happy faces and no fighting. I believe in relationships that are real. That have their ups and downs. That have the arguments and making up. That have their I’m mad at you but of course I still love you moments. I don’t know, maybe I’m just boring or I have a weird view on relationships but that’s what I believe. Time for me to go to bed so I can get up early and work at Aeropostale tomorrow! Let me know what you guys think.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

My "niece" and I goofing around at the mall today! :)

My purpose:

Well, this post is early in the day! I’m at home, no one is here, and it’s too late and cloudy to sit by the pool now, so I decided to write. It’s been a week since Zack’s daddy passed away. I think that was one of the harder “milestones” of knowing that my dad wasn’t coming back. He had never left me for a week unless he went to Quanico, VA or something for TDY. So, I’m definitely thinking about Zack today and praying for him… I know it’s hard but I know he’s staying busy to keep his mind away from reality. I did the same, and I think we all do going through something like this. There’s nothing like it. Anyways, I talked to Zack last night. He met me outside of the mall and we just sat and talked. It was really nice, and like old times. Minus the affection… of course. All I’m going to say about it is that I loved talking to him, as a friend. It was so nice to have that friend again. But, I did think it was cute when we hugged good-bye. We had that “almost” the same tight embrace, the secure one that made everything better. I had my head rested on his chest and he had asked me if I was listening for his heart and then I noticed his heart beat was nice and slow and replied, “Well, I wasn’t at first but now I am…” and we had made direct eye contact in this. Well, I put my head back to avoid all the rush of the feelings coming back because, well, you know how movies are. The exes make eye contact and everything rushes back. Anyways, I put my head back on his chest to listen to his heart and I then had realized that his heart was beginning to race. My heart does that everytime I see him, especially the first day I saw him… my heart just races. It’s so cute, and I thought that was really cute that I noticed his heart did the same. But, we are just friends and of course there are “no feelings”…. pshh. Hahaha, now… To the reason of my blog. It’s called My purpose. This morning when I woke up, thinking about Zack, for some reason I was in that deep thinking. Weird, but whatevs. Anyways, I started thinking and praying and I thought: Maybe my purpose or the purpose of my relationship with Zack was to prepare him for what happened on August 2nd. I mean, he did deal with me and my emotions and he knew all of my feelings about my dad and his death. Zack took care of me and helped me deal with them, so in a sense it gave him a background on the subject. So, I don’t know, I could be very wrong, but I do feel that my purpose was to help him. We didn’t know that this would happen, but I feel that God did put me in His life for a certain reason and maybe that was the reason. Who knows, I don’t, no one down here does. Only God knows. What do you think?

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

My daddy and I at the beach when I was a kid, and yes. That is a leash.

Salon talk.

Hmmm... good morning. I guess I may as well start getting use to this since I keep writing this so late/early! I'm sitting in my old bedroom watching the Olympics with my cousin Jeffrey. It's good bonding time and he's definitely keeping me positive. So, as the title sorta hints to this, I got my hair cut today. The lady that cuts my hair is so sweet, she's cut it for quite a few years now. She had asked how I had been doing and asked about the vacation I was supposed to be on. I told her about how my aunt and uncle were in Texas but how I flew back to be here for my friend/ex. We ended up talking the whole time about how my relationship had ended, what had happened, the people involved, and all that sweet juicy stuff. It was very good to talk to her, to get that stuff off my chest, to get another person's point of view. However, when I was talking to her about Zack I started tearing up. She apologized for asking about him, but I told her I was okay with it. It was life, and life works in weird ways. Of course though, with me talking about him and tearing up about him, my hair stylist started slightly tearing up as well. She told me that she could really tell how much I cared about him, that it showed through the way I talked about him. I loved hearing that, I always wonder if I sound bitter or something, because I'm not. I'm glad we had our relationship, I'm glad he was my bestfriend. I hate how it ended, I truly do, but I'd rather be friends than nothing at all. He's a sweetheart. Anyways, I told her everything and I didn't even have to tell her how I felt... she could gather that from the way I talked about him. I don't have much to say, but I will leave you with this. My hair stylist did tell me some very cliche but very true words of wisdom, she said: If he is meant to be  yours, then he will be... and if not, then be thankful that he didn't get in the way of what is supposed to be yours. How true and how wise, what a good way to look at a situation like this. Weather you are a guy or a girl, that is the perfect way to think about it. So, as I said, I'm leaving you with that.

Remember: If he/she is meant to be yours then he/she will be... if not, then be thankful that he/she didn't get in the way of what is truly meant to be yours.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

My very handsome Valentine's Date for 2012... everyday with him was like Valentine's Day. <3

Look at us now.

Well, once again it’s 1 in the morning and I’m starting to write. I had this pulled up at 9, but I’m super ADD, I was texting, watching the Olympics and Jimmy Kimmel… now AFV, and well I’ve been on Facebook and looking at pictures. Today was August 7, 2012, last year it was a very happy joyous day. Zack and I had a cute date as we always did every month. My friends would “bash” the fact that we celebrated our anniversary every month, but I loved it and absolutely adored the idea. He was amazing and so loving. Simply the best and oh so cute. Well, today would have been our 1 year 11 month anniversary and I hated the thought of this day. However, at least he was the first and last person I was texting on this day. You never know where you will end up in the future. Zack always told me to live in the present, I should have listened. When you love in the present you don’t get hurt as much. Once you get the feeling that there will be a definite future, and it doesn’t happen, you get hurt. But what is life without hurt. I feel like if we didn’t get to experience some of the emotions that we do, then we aren’t truly living. I just got off the phone with my aunt, it’s about 320 am now… She’s three hours behind us. My aunt and uncle are in El Paso, Texas right now, which is where I would be but I chose to come home. I miss her a lot, she helps me more than she knows. A majority of our talks are about life and keeping faith. She knows how depressed I am, but she helps me so much. Back to the reason for this post… I mean look at Zack and I. Our year and eleven month anniversary, you would have never thought we’d be where we are now. I mean, look at us now. We went from friends, to bestfriends/boyfriend/girlfriend, to still bestfriends, to complete strangers… now we are just here. I mean, I still want to be bestfriends… I want to and I will be here as his friend. It is up to him to either be the same way or not or to work up to it or not. Have you ever listened to Johnny Cash’s song Hurt?  That song, the first time I heard it, I thought of Zack. Especially our situation and the line: What have I become, my sweetest friend. Everyone I know, goes away in the end.” That song is so true, to a T. It’s the story of my life… and I am so incredibly sorry for how I was with Zack. I know nothing I do or say can get him back, but I’m not accepting that. I just wish I could get my bestfriend back… A year ago I would have never imagined I would be going through this, that him and I would be going through this. However what I do know right now is that I am here for him if he wants or needs me, I always will be, and I know that he just needs a friend. I’m not trying to fight for him back, me flying back wasn’t my attempt to come back and win him over. No, it was for me to be a friend here for him during this time. I am his friend, and I will be here for him. That’s what good friends do and I will never be anything less than a good friend to anyone. I also do know that I need to stop worrying. Once you worry about things, you lose faith. I mean, think about it… if you are worrying about something then you clearly are not letting God handle it. Is it that I don’t trust Him with my problems? No, it’s just that I’m human and I worry… but I shouldn’t and I will work on that. I’m going to F.R.O.G… Fully Rely On God. Well, I’m going to try my hardest. Now that it is 4 am I think it is time for me to go to bed but I will leave you guys with this: even though I never expected Zack and I to end up like this, I still love him and wish nothing but the best for him. I mean, you never just stop caring or loving someone… not that easy or ever. If you do, then you never truly cared or loved that person in the first place. 

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Death is Not the End.

Good morning everyone, now that it's almost 1 am here... Well, this Sunday the 5th was a tough day for many. As you guys are aware, my ex's father had passed away the morning of the 2nd. He was a great guy. There's so many ways I could describe him and my heart breaks for the family. The memorial service was absolutely beautiful. The songs were gorgeous, and the pastor did a phenomenal job he described Mr. D and talked about him so good. If you didn't know him and you attended the service, you would have left knowing him. Now, to describe the name of my Blog post today... Death is Not the End.  Well, while writing this last night I kinda fell asleep so I'm just going to finish it up now. Death is not the end, this may be sort of confusing for some people to grasp, but it's true. It's the story behind my 2nd tattoo. However, before charting these waters, I will give a little summary of my life. I probably will do this in different bits and pieces of blog posts I do but it will all connect one day, eventually. So, as a child I grew up with my dad and my mom. They never took me to church, ever. I think I ended up going once and that was just for an Easter Egg hunt and it wasn't even with my parents, it was with my dad's friend's girlfriend. Oh, and I went with my bestfriend Tory and her mom who passed away a few months after my dad did. Anyways, like I said, my parents never took me to church. I didn't know who or what God was, I just remember having kids ask me at school if I believed in God and I would say, "no." I use to get picked on and judged by the kids at school for this reason, but I didn't know who this "guy" was. Why do you believe in something that you have never learned about? Well, my mom was deported when I was 8. October of 2000. So, it was just my dad and I after that, father and daughter team, we were unstoppable. Well, turns out, even after he passed away on February 24, 2005 we are still unstoppable. I love him with all my heart, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't talk to him, I don't miss him, I don't tell him I love him, and that I don't tell him goodnight, sweet dreams, don't let the bed bugs bite. Not a day goes by that those things do not happen. It's been a hard 7 years, going on 8 years, but I'm 20 and strong. Yes, this does kill me at times but it's people like my family, and my bestfriend Mac, that help me through it. It was also Zack that helped me through my darkest times and darkest thoughts. Times when I wanted to give up everything, time's where I bargained to see my dad again, to dream about him, to hear his voice, to give up everything I had just to see him again. Even if it was only a dream. Zack helped me and stood by my side through all of those times in the year and a half that we officially dated. We still talked before and after the official dates, obvy. It sucks not having him here by my side anymore, my co pilot in life, he was amazing. He still is, and he knows that I am here for him during his time of need. His dad's memorial service was beautiful, and I'm honestly tearing up thinking about it. It's not fair that this happened to Zack, the guy that would do anything for the person he loved, it's not fair that this happened to him and his family. I don't know why it happened, I just know that God wanted his dad to come home. You see, after my dad passed away I lived with my friend for a few months up until DSS found out that I had family. Court hearings happened, and I was to move in with my aunt and uncle that surprisingly only lived an hour away. I had never knew that I had family, you see my dad lied to me about my life pretty much but this is a different story for a different day, but I never knew I had family and it was all a shock to me. I moved in with my aunt and uncle who happened to actually be committed Catholics and they go to church every weekend. Well, honestly, this helped me a lot. When I moved in with them I went to mass every weekend. The readings helped me, and eventually after some years I became more active in the church and started going up to get blessed. I finally decided during my Junior year to take the RCIA class to come into the church. It was the best decision of my life. Church, God, and my family will be with only things I know that will never leave me. Especially when I need them the most, they will always be there and I can always count on them.Thankfully for Zack and his family, they had each other and they already have God. I didn't have family or Him when I went through this, and I was also 12. Zack and his brother are 21 turning 22 on the 21st of this month, his sister is not even a year younger than me. She will be turning 20 in March, and she is the one most active in churches, in fact she just came back from a month long mission trip. I'm probably rambling, my ADD is definitely kicking in right now. Anyways, I just want to say that Zack was my rock and I will always be here for him if he needs someone to talk to, especially during this. Losing a parent is a different feeling for everyone, but it's still something we share and can help each other with. Also, I'm just so thankful that he has his family, his good friends, and most importantly he has God... and with all of those things he will be nothing but successful and strong. And I know how strong he is, after all, he did put up with me and my emotions for almost two years. Now that I seemed to have gotten off topic, I'll finish up my theory on how Death is Not the End. Death is NOT the END because it just isn't. Obviously there is eternal life, which most people believe, but right now I am talking about here on Earth. Death is never the end for someone unless you make it the end for them. Here's my example: my father passed away, none of my current friends know him, my family didn't know him for the last almost 30 years of his life, and Zack or my future husband didn't/won't know him, you guys don't know him and no one current will ever get to meet him. It sucks, it really does suck, but it's the truth. But I am left with the choice of telling my father's story. If I tell his story, then he lives in the hearts of the people I told his story to. Don't you agree? I mean, if you've come into contact with someone, especially someone close to you that has lost someone, and they tell you about that person. Don't you always remember the stories especially if that person brings them up again? I know it worked like that with Zack. I remember on the morning of October 10, 2010 a month and three days after we started dating we were outside of his house and he had just got done cleaning out his car and he was about to clean out my car and I was on his Facebook about to make a cute status for him and then I read some guy's status that read, "RIP Ashley Haskins you will be missed" and right away I had a hunch it was my old bestfriend from 1st grade but I wasn't sure. You see, her and I grew up and met in my hometown. In 6th grade she had moved up to here, and I was still back in our hometown. Then after my dad passed away I ended up moving 20 minutes away from her, in the same county just different school districts. Well, Zack did help me confirm that it was my Ashley... I broke down, but he was there to help me, to hug me, to hold me tight and tell me it was going to be all right. I told him some of the funny crazy times Ashley and I had growing up, and even to this day if I bring up her name, I'm sure he would remember some of those stories, just like he knew/knows some of the stories of my dad. It will be hard for him to forget, but Ashley and my dad are living right now in Zack's heart and memory. They will never ever completely die. They will always live forever, in the hearts of the people I tell their stories to. Isn't it a wonderful feeling? I mean knowing that the person you love is still living, not only in you but in the people you told their stories to? Death is not the end. How blessed are we to have actually had the chance to know these people? I know I am blessed that I actually got to know my father, my friends, and definitely Mr. D before they left this place. Zack's dad, my dad, our friends, everyone you and I know, everyone everywhere will always live. Forever and always, as long as we tell their stories. death is not the end.

My tattoo is the infinity symbol with life written in it. Remember my theory, death is not the end, everyone will live forever if you let them.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

God's beauty.

Good morning everyone. Well, I am currently flying over the clouds right now on my way to my first stop in Charlotte, NC. My ears just popped and the guy next to me keeps trying to stay up right the best he can while he sleeps. He started falling on me a couple of times. Awkward. The view up here is spectacular. God made this place so magnificent. No wonder why he stays up here and we are way down there. It's also beautiful knowing that there is another angel up here joining his mom and who knows possibly meeting my dad. I wish Zack the best in this hard time. He means so much to me, and I love him. I only want his happiness and it's going to be tough right now but he is strong and he will pull through for himself and for his family. Especially his mom and grandpa. I feel so bad that I'm just getting to go see him and help him. I wish I could have been there sooner when he really needed someone. I'm such a horrible friend for not being there but I'm on my way. I had the very first flight out of the Huntsville International Airport. Wow, I just cannot get enough of this view. It's so peaceful up here. Just knowing I don't have to worry about anything right now is simply the best. However, I have to get back to the harsh reality of life in about an hour or so when I have to run to go find my other plane. Well, not run. But go find it. Mr. D was a very good hardworking man. I never saw him without a smile on his face, even when he was at his second job. The last day I saw him was April 16, 2012. This year, at his work. It such a sad world we live in. We are born to die. But during our time here, what we do with our lives is what makes our legacy. And knowing him I know and will always remember that he love his family, he worked hard for his family, he loved his wife, father, and his children with all of his heart. He wanted nothing less than the best for them and he worked hard to give that to them. I never saw that man without a smile on his face. He was always so happy all the time. Especially around his family. He was a great man. My heart breaks for Zack and his family. I hope they find peace in this and I know it will bring them closer together as a family. They're all hardworking and loving. I wish them nothing but peace and happiness. It will be rough, but it gets better. You never know when your last day will be so live your life to the fullest. Over say I love you. Have fun. And always hug and kiss everyone goodbye. I was blessed enough to do that with my dad. He passed away February 24, 2005. When I was 12 turning 13. The day he passed away I was headed to Medieval Times in Myrtle Beach for a field trip. That morning he dropped me off at school we hugged and kissed goodbye. He told me no matter what happened he loved me. I came back that night from my field trip only to not find him at my school. My Vice Principal was waiting for me and took me inside. My dad and I had a special bond just like anyone does with their dad. Just like Zack and his twin brother and sister did with their dad. He was a good dad and Zack has some pretty big shoes to fill but knowing him. I know he's got this. Well, time to stare at the beauty while I can. Remember: always say I love you, give hugs and kisses, and never leave someone while your angry.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

My busy, busy life.

Well. It's about time to finally get back on here. Sorry I have neglected this Blog after just getting it. I was doing so good and steady for three tiny days but then some serious events came into my life for me being only 20 years old. First I got a house. I had all that serious "grown up" stuff to do which I am still working on. Along with that I was in summer school which was pretty intense. I finally finished that this past Friday. Thank God I passed all my classes and now have a free summer. And well, remember Ponchita and Kensington? I may have mentioned them. They're my two kittens I rescued. Well, Ponchita passed away on the 23rd of July. She got super sick and we all miss her. I'll write another Blog introducing them, she was actually writing in the Blog Post that I had written the day after I hung out with my friend. This past week I finally "caught a break" but then I was on Facebook one night this past week and saw where my ex had unblocked me. Which was fine but just seeing him along with wanting him back and putting/seeing all his pictures at my place brings back so many great memories. So seeing him broke me down. So I had to block him.. I have nothing to hide. I just didn't want to see him. :( anyways.... I keep rambling but it's my Blog so I'll do as I please. I went out and got birthday cards for my cousins on the 31st before I went home to pack. Well when I went to Hallmark I got there card and on the way to check out I saw an I Love You card I got him before. So I picked it up and that night I poured my soul into the card. Keeping it with me. Not sure if I would ever be blessed with the chance to give it to him. After all we haven't talked since June 15th. Anywho, I finally left for vacation with my family on the 1st. We came down to Atlanta to have a birthday dinner for my cousin before she went to work. It was nice and relaxing. Not having to worry about school, getting out of my state, all of the above. Just nice and relaxing and good spending time with my family. Well, on the 2nd we woke up and we went to breakfast at Einstein Bagles.... SOOOOI DELISH!!!!!! Then we went to Voyles to go look at some cars for my aunt and uncle. Literally as we got in the car to leave at 9:17 am I got a text from him.... Zack. I saw his name pop up with the heart beside it. I was so confused until I started reading. He text me to tell me something about his dad... I broke down before even completing the text. I had my aunt read it and right away we started praying. I called Zack we talked a few minutes. It was a serious situation. I immediately started looking up plane tickets to get home ASAP. Zack texted me shortly to tell me that his father had passed away. My heart sank for him. I felt so unbelievably bad that I was not there for him. I was on my way to Alabama to see my other cousin for his birthday. I know sorta how he felt but I couldn't understand. My father passed away when I was 12. My mother was deported when I was 8. I had no one when my father passed away but thank god he had his family. I was happy and thankful that they all had each other in this time. I don't know how to help him but I'm doing the best I can to support him. So please, please support him and please, please pray for him and his family. Every bit of help is much appreciated. Well it's 806 pm here in Alabama. I have to be up early since my flight out is at 611 am. I can finally go home and be there to support him an his family. So, please pray. Thank you all.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker