We live and we learn

Hey guys!

So, I’ve had a pretty amazing week! I got into Nursing School and everything is just grand.  One thing I really wanted to address is something that happened 10 days ago. On the 10th of October it was the 2 year anniversary of my old childhood bestfriend’s passing away. Now, when we get in relationships we tend to spend most of our time with that person. I spent a lot of time with homeboy… I mean, I did love him. Well, Ashley was my bestfriend from 1st grade from back home… She moved away after 6th grade and well, after my dad passed away I ended up in the same town that she had moved it. It was great, we started hanging out again, but it was also bad too. I started getting in trouble, we started getting in trouble. So we quit hanging out, and we were 13 at this time. Well, I started dating my boy in September of 2010… He was perfect, amazing, and handsome. Of course I wanted to spend every chance I got with him! Who wouldn’t? Well, Ashley had gotten up with me that summer and we were trying to make plans to hang out when she got back. Well, we kept making plans and I kept putting them off because I was with my boy. Well, October 10, 2010, I was at his house and he was washing his car and while I was on his Facebook I had saw someone’s status that read: RIP Ashley Ha****s… you will be missed. Right away I had that sinking feeling in my gut, I asked homeboy if the kid went to school with him since Ashley went to the same school and his answer was yes. That night, right around my ex’s house Ashley was killed along with two of her other friends. They had all been drinking and so had the driver, they all got into the car that night and all three passengers were killed when the driver took a curve too fast. He lived. Now, what I want to get at is: yes, I loved my ex, I still do… but when we are in relationships don’t ignore the other people that you had in your life previous to them. Make time for your friends, you never know when it could be too late. I don’t regret spending all the time I could with my ex, I really don’t, but I could have also spent time with Ashley. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad about everything. She was my bestfriend, she helped me a lot after my dad passed away, and we always grew up defending each other from bullies at school. She was my sister from another mister. I love her and miss her, and maybe if I would have been a better friend, things would have turned out differently. However, I do believe everything happens for a reason and they do make us think and appreciate things more. I do appreciate both relationships I had, but I really wish I would have been a better friend to AshBash. Remember: We have our relationships with our “significant other” and they’re all great and stuff… but we are individuals in our relationships too and we have our old friends that helped us where we got to today. So make time for them, you never know if it’s too late.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Ashley the blondie! ...and I'm in the bottom right corner. An old yearbook picture of us!

Relationships with God.

Happy Sunday everyone!

For most of you guys, Sunday is a church day. I’m Catholic and I try to attend mostly on Saturdays… but if not I go on Sunday. I can PROUDLY say that since I have been in college the past three years, I have only missed mass three days. Once during my freshman year and I was home for Christmas break and it had been snowing, the second time was this past year, end of my sophomore year. We had gone up to the Basilica National Shrine up in Washington D.C, but we had gone to mass at noon that day which didn’t fulfill the weekend obligation… and the last time was this past summer when my sweet little Ponchita died. I was headed to mass in Goldsboro with my family on a Sunday morning when my roommate called and told me that our kitty wasn’t doing good, so I rushed back home and took her to the vet. She was so sick, and I tried my best to take care of her and get her the medications the doctors prescribed her… but there was nothing we could do and we ended up putting her to sleep. Those are the ONLY three times I have missed mass since I have been in college. Now… you might be reading this and thinking, “okay girl, what is the purpose of this?” …Well, my purpose of writing this is to make you think. Are you religious? Many a time people tell me,”God knows me and knows my intentions. I might not go to church but He knows me and we have our own unique relationship. That’s why I don’t feel like I have to go to church.” …Are you one of these people? I understand and I’m not judging you, if that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. I am not going to change my opinions about you. What you do is your business. If we were friends and you thought like this, we will still be friends. I just wanted to preach my opinion on the matter. So here it goes:

THINK ABOUT THIS:

You have your friends right? The ones that will always be there for you no matter what? The ones that you have to see at least once a week, if not more. Those friends that mean the world to you because you love them and they love you… you know that you will always be there for them just like they will always be there for you? Well, think about this. What is God to you? God will ALWAYS be there for you, He loves you UNCONDITIONALLY and you mean the world to Him. Do you not love Him? Is He not always there for you? Just because you cannot see Him does not mean that He isn’t there. If you believe in Him then you KNOW He is there… Is He not like that friend? Do you not ask God for help, especially when you are in predicaments? So, why is it hard to go see Him once a week in His house? I don’t understand this… I take 15 hours of classes, weekly. I work 10 hours a week. I want to see my friends and my family… I make time to go out on dates, or to have time to relax. It doesn’t kill me to take one hour out of my hectic week to go see God in his house. I mean, if I can see my friends that may or may not always be there, then I can definitely go see God. The One who is and will always be there for me. God knows me and my intentions too, I am not perfect but I do make time out of my week to see Him in His house.

Think about it… do you have a healthy relationship with God… or are you using Him? …Is He like that bestfriend you have that you make time to see, or is He like that friend that you only use for favors?

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Baby Ponchita the night I rescued her and Kensington... and my first tattoo. <><

Regret.

Good evening everyone,

So, I just wanted to do a little blog on regret. It’s a sketchy topic for most people and it’s usually personal but I’m just going to state my opinion. A month ago today, I was driving home and wrecked my car. It was a bad accident, and should have been way worse. I don’t regret my decision to go home that day, if anything I’m glad I did. However, I did blog the previous night about my ex and how many times he had lied or something along those lines… and in a way writing that blog probably made it seem like I regretted dating him. Well, just to clear everything up I don’t. I don’t regret any of my choices that I have made through out my life. It’s weird… sometimes I look back and think, “What on Earth was I thinking… that was so dumb.” I’m sure we think that about something we’ve done in our past. But, the past is indeed the past. We cannot change what we did or how we did it. What’s done is done… and think about it; When you did it at the time, it was what you wanted, right? If you didn’t want to do it, then you wouldn’t have. That’s how I feel about it. I don’t regret anything, because at one point in my life it is exactly what I wanted. It might not have been later on. I don’t regret old friendships with people or past choices, at the time it was what I wanted. Yeah, now I look back and I see how some things didn’t work out and I get frustrated trying to convince myself it was stupid and I shouldn’t have done that or tried/worked at something, but it all comes down to the fact that at that very moment in time, it was exactly what I wanted. So, the next time you try to say you regret something, think about it. Do you really regret it? Or are you just in denial about it? Live life without regrets. Learn from past mistakes and move on, don’t let them get the best of you. You control your life.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

(left to right) Me, Kayla, and Samantha. These were my two bestfriends/roommates last year but that didn’t go over so well. I don’t regret the relationships we had… instead I learned from them and moved on.