Regret.

Good evening everyone,

So, I just wanted to do a little blog on regret. It’s a sketchy topic for most people and it’s usually personal but I’m just going to state my opinion. A month ago today, I was driving home and wrecked my car. It was a bad accident, and should have been way worse. I don’t regret my decision to go home that day, if anything I’m glad I did. However, I did blog the previous night about my ex and how many times he had lied or something along those lines… and in a way writing that blog probably made it seem like I regretted dating him. Well, just to clear everything up I don’t. I don’t regret any of my choices that I have made through out my life. It’s weird… sometimes I look back and think, “What on Earth was I thinking… that was so dumb.” I’m sure we think that about something we’ve done in our past. But, the past is indeed the past. We cannot change what we did or how we did it. What’s done is done… and think about it; When you did it at the time, it was what you wanted, right? If you didn’t want to do it, then you wouldn’t have. That’s how I feel about it. I don’t regret anything, because at one point in my life it is exactly what I wanted. It might not have been later on. I don’t regret old friendships with people or past choices, at the time it was what I wanted. Yeah, now I look back and I see how some things didn’t work out and I get frustrated trying to convince myself it was stupid and I shouldn’t have done that or tried/worked at something, but it all comes down to the fact that at that very moment in time, it was exactly what I wanted. So, the next time you try to say you regret something, think about it. Do you really regret it? Or are you just in denial about it? Live life without regrets. Learn from past mistakes and move on, don’t let them get the best of you. You control your life.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

(left to right) Me, Kayla, and Samantha. These were my two bestfriends/roommates last year but that didn’t go over so well. I don’t regret the relationships we had… instead I learned from them and moved on.

The simple things in life.

Hi guys!

Well, I decided to write since I’m relaxing after being sick this past day. I’m watching the NY Giants v. Philadelphia Eagles game with my roommate. We went to the East Carolina University v. UTEP game last night which was fun! …Until they evacuated the stadium due to the weather that was approaching. Anyways… onto my blog. I am a firm believer that the simple things in life are what matter the most. Don’t get me wrong, I do like fancy things and I can be very fancy… but especially since my accident I have definitely come to appreciate simple things a lot more than I previously did. So, clearly since the break up my life was “oh so sad” but now I’m as happy as can be. I hung out with a guy from work twice last weekend after seeing my beautiful niece. Last weekend was great! This week was crazy/hectic but it was great too. I love my life, and the people in it. I honestly shouldn’t complain about my life, but I do. But I just wanted to take tonight to appreciate the little things. I love being able to go home when I want since I only live an hour away. I appreciate being able to go to school to get an education to hopefully become a nurse in whatever field I want. I appreciate my relationship with God and my family who helped guide me to Him. I appreciate the simple joy of longboarding. I appreciate living an hour from the beach. I appreciate having two jobs! I appreciate tye-dye. I appreciate movies, walks, exercising, and food. I appreciate art, and being able to somewhat draw. I appreciate my new whip, which happens to be a 1992 Jeep Wrangler… yes, I know it’s my age but it’s cute and it will get me through the next couple of years! I appreciate my exes, because they helped me grow to become the strong independent girl I am today and they helped me see how I should not be treated and how I should be treated. I appreciate old friends and old friendships I had that were great at once but then something happened and the true friends came out in my time of need when others stayed back. I appreciate my Kensie cat…she’s so silly but I love her to death. I appreciate simple dates. Going out for pizza or hamburgers… or staying in watching movies, playing video games and ordering pizza. I appreciate the little compliments I get about being “family oriented” or when people tell me how pretty I am. I appreciate a lot of those things. Now, don’t get me wrong… I do like simple things but I do like big surprises too.  I appreciate my aunt and uncle for everything. Without them I would not be who I am today, after my dad passed away and I had no place to live they took me into their home without hesitation and I could not be more thankful for that. They’re the best mom and dad anyone could ever have and I seriously would not be here today if it was not for them. I love them so much and I don’t know what I would do without them. Most of all, I appreciate my life. Simple as that… I am so thankful to be alive and I love it. I have been through some pretty crappy times but I know that life does get better. So, thank you God for all that you have given me. I’m unworthy but I am so thankful.

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Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Another chance.

Hi everyone! So, today has been eventful. I just want to say that I am thankful to be alive. On my way home today I totaled my pretty little car. The cop even said that it was amazing that I survived. I looked at him and replied, "Well, God just doesn't want me quite yet." I believe that what ever purpose He has for me, I have yet to fulfill. Which is fabulous because I love life too much, especially right now. I'll just let you guys in on what happened. I was driving home today from college. I decided to leave my cat at home, which I never do... Well, on my way home a dog started walking out in the road. I thought for sure he wasn't going to walk in my way. I was going 60 in the 55. Well, he decided to keep walking and his head was right at the orange double line. So, I decided if I swerved just enough I'd be okay and so would he. Well, I ended up going into the grass on the right side and missed him. Then, I pulled onto the road again but a tad bit too fast. I lost control of my car... I started spinning and hit an approx 5ft ditch head on. Upon impact my car flew into the air, flipped, and landed upside down on top of a tree. It was scary, but what was even scarier was what happened inside and the events leading up to it. Just before I wrecked I was on the phone, no. Not texting as you probably assume... I heard a weather warning on the radio and called my roommate to tell him if the weather gets bad to stay with his friends at their apartment and not to worry about going home because I gave Kenz (our cat) plenty of food And water so she would be okay. I hung up and set down my phone, and as I did that I saw that dog. Also, before this I had had been driving with my windows down and my sunroof open but it started raining so I had to close them. I tried opening them back up after the rain stopped but water still kept coming in my car so I closed it back up, again. Well when I lost control I was desperately trying to slow down and gain control of my car again. I realized I couldn't and as I hit the ditch and started flipping I grabbed my steering wheel. Praying that holding onto it would save me but instead my chest slammed into it and I somehow got flung into the back of my car. I landed on my back when this horrible ride came to a stop. It was the worst roller coaster ride ever. Just plain awful. Well web I flew around my car I jammed my middle finger trying to land, grab, brace my fall or whatever I was doing. Oh, and why did I fly out of my seat? I have no idea. I had my seatbelt on an I have bruises to prove it. The EMT believes since I lean my seat back a little I slide out of it. It makes sense but I still have no idea. I just know I'm alive and thankful that I am. I'm also thankful no one else was around to get injured. Well, I did land in the back of my car and I was confused at where I was. I finally realized I was there and crawled to my drivers side an started honking the horn praying someone could hear me. I didn't know where I had landed or what happened. I couldn't get out of my door but I did realize my car was still on. I was about to attempt to break a window to get out but when I realized my car was still alive I started pressing buttons. Finally figured out how to get my passenger side window down and I crawled out of my car from there. No one was around at the time but I ran to the road and a small silver car was just about to pass and I flagged then down. As I did I fell. I guess I fell from being so shook up but I fell. They turned around an people started stopping. All I was concerned about was calling my aunt and uncle to tell them I was I an accident but okay. Finally the ambulance came and rushed me to the ER. I am so thankful to be alive. I checked out okay. They took X-rays and did exams but I am okay. I'm alive! I made it out with a jammed middle finger and a bruised body. I am alive and I have been blessed! My daddy and God were definitely looking out for me today and I am so entirely thankful. I love my life and this second chance I have been given. I don't know how I am still alive but I just know that I am. Goodnight everyone.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker