Relationships with God.

Happy Sunday everyone!

For most of you guys, Sunday is a church day. I’m Catholic and I try to attend mostly on Saturdays… but if not I go on Sunday. I can PROUDLY say that since I have been in college the past three years, I have only missed mass three days. Once during my freshman year and I was home for Christmas break and it had been snowing, the second time was this past year, end of my sophomore year. We had gone up to the Basilica National Shrine up in Washington D.C, but we had gone to mass at noon that day which didn’t fulfill the weekend obligation… and the last time was this past summer when my sweet little Ponchita died. I was headed to mass in Goldsboro with my family on a Sunday morning when my roommate called and told me that our kitty wasn’t doing good, so I rushed back home and took her to the vet. She was so sick, and I tried my best to take care of her and get her the medications the doctors prescribed her… but there was nothing we could do and we ended up putting her to sleep. Those are the ONLY three times I have missed mass since I have been in college. Now… you might be reading this and thinking, “okay girl, what is the purpose of this?” …Well, my purpose of writing this is to make you think. Are you religious? Many a time people tell me,”God knows me and knows my intentions. I might not go to church but He knows me and we have our own unique relationship. That’s why I don’t feel like I have to go to church.” …Are you one of these people? I understand and I’m not judging you, if that’s how you feel, that’s how you feel. I am not going to change my opinions about you. What you do is your business. If we were friends and you thought like this, we will still be friends. I just wanted to preach my opinion on the matter. So here it goes:

THINK ABOUT THIS:

You have your friends right? The ones that will always be there for you no matter what? The ones that you have to see at least once a week, if not more. Those friends that mean the world to you because you love them and they love you… you know that you will always be there for them just like they will always be there for you? Well, think about this. What is God to you? God will ALWAYS be there for you, He loves you UNCONDITIONALLY and you mean the world to Him. Do you not love Him? Is He not always there for you? Just because you cannot see Him does not mean that He isn’t there. If you believe in Him then you KNOW He is there… Is He not like that friend? Do you not ask God for help, especially when you are in predicaments? So, why is it hard to go see Him once a week in His house? I don’t understand this… I take 15 hours of classes, weekly. I work 10 hours a week. I want to see my friends and my family… I make time to go out on dates, or to have time to relax. It doesn’t kill me to take one hour out of my hectic week to go see God in his house. I mean, if I can see my friends that may or may not always be there, then I can definitely go see God. The One who is and will always be there for me. God knows me and my intentions too, I am not perfect but I do make time out of my week to see Him in His house.

Think about it… do you have a healthy relationship with God… or are you using Him? …Is He like that bestfriend you have that you make time to see, or is He like that friend that you only use for favors?

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Baby Ponchita the night I rescued her and Kensington... and my first tattoo. <><

The simple things in life.

Hi guys!

Well, I decided to write since I’m relaxing after being sick this past day. I’m watching the NY Giants v. Philadelphia Eagles game with my roommate. We went to the East Carolina University v. UTEP game last night which was fun! …Until they evacuated the stadium due to the weather that was approaching. Anyways… onto my blog. I am a firm believer that the simple things in life are what matter the most. Don’t get me wrong, I do like fancy things and I can be very fancy… but especially since my accident I have definitely come to appreciate simple things a lot more than I previously did. So, clearly since the break up my life was “oh so sad” but now I’m as happy as can be. I hung out with a guy from work twice last weekend after seeing my beautiful niece. Last weekend was great! This week was crazy/hectic but it was great too. I love my life, and the people in it. I honestly shouldn’t complain about my life, but I do. But I just wanted to take tonight to appreciate the little things. I love being able to go home when I want since I only live an hour away. I appreciate being able to go to school to get an education to hopefully become a nurse in whatever field I want. I appreciate my relationship with God and my family who helped guide me to Him. I appreciate the simple joy of longboarding. I appreciate living an hour from the beach. I appreciate having two jobs! I appreciate tye-dye. I appreciate movies, walks, exercising, and food. I appreciate art, and being able to somewhat draw. I appreciate my new whip, which happens to be a 1992 Jeep Wrangler… yes, I know it’s my age but it’s cute and it will get me through the next couple of years! I appreciate my exes, because they helped me grow to become the strong independent girl I am today and they helped me see how I should not be treated and how I should be treated. I appreciate old friends and old friendships I had that were great at once but then something happened and the true friends came out in my time of need when others stayed back. I appreciate my Kensie cat…she’s so silly but I love her to death. I appreciate simple dates. Going out for pizza or hamburgers… or staying in watching movies, playing video games and ordering pizza. I appreciate the little compliments I get about being “family oriented” or when people tell me how pretty I am. I appreciate a lot of those things. Now, don’t get me wrong… I do like simple things but I do like big surprises too.  I appreciate my aunt and uncle for everything. Without them I would not be who I am today, after my dad passed away and I had no place to live they took me into their home without hesitation and I could not be more thankful for that. They’re the best mom and dad anyone could ever have and I seriously would not be here today if it was not for them. I love them so much and I don’t know what I would do without them. Most of all, I appreciate my life. Simple as that… I am so thankful to be alive and I love it. I have been through some pretty crappy times but I know that life does get better. So, thank you God for all that you have given me. I’m unworthy but I am so thankful.

<><  

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Life is stressful, yet beautiful.

Hi everyone!

Per norm, I’m apologizing for not being on here like I use to be. I really need to make a set schedule and follow through with it on things that I am going to do/want to do/need to do. I was just thinking back to my post on the 1st of this month. I can’t help but think that, that would have been a horrible last final note to leave the world if I would have died the next day when I wrecked. I’m not sure if anyone from my hometown really knows about my Blog except for a couple of people… but I know I want it to be fully known if anything does happen to me. I would have hated to leave on a “bitter” note. Honestly, I am so happy now. Yes, I get lonely and yes, I am super stressed but I am thankful I am still here and still able to feel all these emotions! Not sure what I want to talk about tonight. For starters, I have been so busy and completely stressed. I have had 4 Psychology exams in the past week, FOUR. It’s been crazy! On top of that I have been trying to work out, I’ve been working about 8-10 hours a week, dealing with the insurance about my car, trying to car shop, and everything. This past weekend, my grandma and aunt flew from El Paso, Texas to visit for my uncle’s surprise 60th birthday party and boy was he surprised! It was great seeing all my family, and having everyone come out. I am so blessed to be a part of such a huge loving family… and speaking of HUGE. My cousin, who is basically my sister, Chica, is having her baby bright and early in the morning! I’m so excited for my Goddaughter/niece/cousin to make her grand entrance to the world. I am so in love with life right now and all these blessings that I have been given. Also, I have been okay about Zack. I’m sure if I saw him maybe I would feel different, but as of now I am free.  Happy and free. I’m going to Sweden in December to see my mom and her family! I reapplied for Nursing school again, and they send out letters on the 15th of October so we will see how that goes! I’m so happy with my relationships with my family right now, they were close before my wreck and now they are even closer. I love it, and I love them. They’re all so great and supportive. Also, another bit of good news… I’m hanging out with a friend from work tomorrow night. It’ll be good to get to know someone new and to hang out. I’m pretty excited about all of this. Anyways, I decided I’m going to skip class tomorrow and drive to Raleigh to see my cousin and my Goddaughter! (They haven’t picked out a solid name yet, they have ideas but not a definite choice yet… hence me not saying her name) Goodnight everyone, hopefully I will Blog after I get home tomorrow. Just remember, God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Life may be so stressful at times, but think positive… Life is beautiful!

Goodnight everyone,

Clair Kwahadi Parker

Kenzie and I sitting at the table... I swear she loves me.

Another chance.

Hi everyone! So, today has been eventful. I just want to say that I am thankful to be alive. On my way home today I totaled my pretty little car. The cop even said that it was amazing that I survived. I looked at him and replied, "Well, God just doesn't want me quite yet." I believe that what ever purpose He has for me, I have yet to fulfill. Which is fabulous because I love life too much, especially right now. I'll just let you guys in on what happened. I was driving home today from college. I decided to leave my cat at home, which I never do... Well, on my way home a dog started walking out in the road. I thought for sure he wasn't going to walk in my way. I was going 60 in the 55. Well, he decided to keep walking and his head was right at the orange double line. So, I decided if I swerved just enough I'd be okay and so would he. Well, I ended up going into the grass on the right side and missed him. Then, I pulled onto the road again but a tad bit too fast. I lost control of my car... I started spinning and hit an approx 5ft ditch head on. Upon impact my car flew into the air, flipped, and landed upside down on top of a tree. It was scary, but what was even scarier was what happened inside and the events leading up to it. Just before I wrecked I was on the phone, no. Not texting as you probably assume... I heard a weather warning on the radio and called my roommate to tell him if the weather gets bad to stay with his friends at their apartment and not to worry about going home because I gave Kenz (our cat) plenty of food And water so she would be okay. I hung up and set down my phone, and as I did that I saw that dog. Also, before this I had had been driving with my windows down and my sunroof open but it started raining so I had to close them. I tried opening them back up after the rain stopped but water still kept coming in my car so I closed it back up, again. Well when I lost control I was desperately trying to slow down and gain control of my car again. I realized I couldn't and as I hit the ditch and started flipping I grabbed my steering wheel. Praying that holding onto it would save me but instead my chest slammed into it and I somehow got flung into the back of my car. I landed on my back when this horrible ride came to a stop. It was the worst roller coaster ride ever. Just plain awful. Well web I flew around my car I jammed my middle finger trying to land, grab, brace my fall or whatever I was doing. Oh, and why did I fly out of my seat? I have no idea. I had my seatbelt on an I have bruises to prove it. The EMT believes since I lean my seat back a little I slide out of it. It makes sense but I still have no idea. I just know I'm alive and thankful that I am. I'm also thankful no one else was around to get injured. Well, I did land in the back of my car and I was confused at where I was. I finally realized I was there and crawled to my drivers side an started honking the horn praying someone could hear me. I didn't know where I had landed or what happened. I couldn't get out of my door but I did realize my car was still on. I was about to attempt to break a window to get out but when I realized my car was still alive I started pressing buttons. Finally figured out how to get my passenger side window down and I crawled out of my car from there. No one was around at the time but I ran to the road and a small silver car was just about to pass and I flagged then down. As I did I fell. I guess I fell from being so shook up but I fell. They turned around an people started stopping. All I was concerned about was calling my aunt and uncle to tell them I was I an accident but okay. Finally the ambulance came and rushed me to the ER. I am so thankful to be alive. I checked out okay. They took X-rays and did exams but I am okay. I'm alive! I made it out with a jammed middle finger and a bruised body. I am alive and I have been blessed! My daddy and God were definitely looking out for me today and I am so entirely thankful. I love my life and this second chance I have been given. I don't know how I am still alive but I just know that I am. Goodnight everyone.

Yours truly,

Clair Kwahadi Parker